First Day of the Rest of Our Lives

Tonight Chad and I took another significant step in the direction of our future by attending our first pre-marital counseling class with our pastor, Barry. The three of us had been planning on meeting before ABC's (Adult Bible Classes) for a few weeks now and this Wednesday it finally worked out. We walked in, Barry handed us each a book, and asked us what we expected out of the class. Between the two of us, our answer was to be better prepared to build a long, lasting relationship built on God and use a third-party objective observer (who would ask us questions and bring up topics that we may not have covered) to do so.

The first section of the book covered myths about marriage. For example, everything will get better once we are married and we will perfectly complete one another. Although we both agreed that the first myth (everything will get better) is one that we wish were not a myth, it is indeed one that needs to be realized and then worked through. Yes, by being married to each other our lives will be happier than if we were apart and certain aspects of marriage will fill our hearts with joy, but that does not mean that every moment of married life will be easy and/or pleasant. Some things require much more patience than others, but together with God we can and will overcome any obstacle thrown our way.

The second myth (we will complete each other) struck a very particular chord in my soul. Chad and I are very similar in so many ways, that sometimes I feel as if he is an extension of my very self. At other times, he brings just enough difference in our relationship to make me think more rationally about a situation or calm me down when I am overwhelmed. BUT-with all of that being said, as Barry kindly pointed out tonight, Chad in and of himself cannot provide and does not possess everything capable to complete me. God alone can provide what I need to fill the void in my life. Taking the step to realize and understand that is a HUGE one but a necessary one because once I have done so, I no longer have to USE Chad. Yes, I mean use him. I will have chosen to be in a relationship with him because of what I have to offer him (which I'm not entirely sure what that is yet) rather than what I need to take from him. Our relationship becomes about true love, which is putting someone's needs and desires above your own. I am whole in God, so what I have with Chad becomes all about what I can do for him and how I can use myself to enrich his life.

That was a startling and eye-opening realization to come to. But alas, I am very glad that it was pointed out to me so that on our wedding day, I can pledge my love to him with the right definition of love in my heart. The other eye-opening realization for me tonight was that by starting this class with Barry, we are taking another serious step in our relationship together. As Monica jokingly pointed out, "The cement is setting." I am now one step closer to marrying the most wonderful man on this earth, and that thought gave me the biggest, most colorful butterflies in my stomach.
As we continue to go through this class, I ask for prayers from all of those who are reading this (and any others who would like to bless us with your prayers). I pray that He guides us every step of the way towards our wedding day and forever after. I pray also that He have His hands over us as we grow together in Him, and in our separate spiritual lives. My biggest prayer for our marriage is that God will do something extraordinary through the TWO of us together that He could not accomplish with us apart. I pray that our marriage will not only benefit the two of us, but that God will find a way to use "The Duncans" to accomplish His will and further His kingdom.

Boy oh boy-if this is what came out of our first class, I can't wait to see what will come out of the rest!! :)

I'll sign off with another wonderfully sweet Chad quote:

"I'm always glad to do things for you and help you. It's a bit early, but I feel responsible for your happiness already." -Chad, 08-22-09